Independence and Control

Independence, self-determination and autonomy can bring with them a sense of dignity, and control. Throughout my career, I have often worked with individuals whose circumstances come with little independence, or decreasing independence. What I have come to understand more and more, is that issues around “independence” more accurately translate to issues around “control.”

Independent decision-making

Think for a moment about the number of decisions you make in a typical day. They are countless: what to eat, when to eat, what to wear, when to wake, what to watch on television, whether or not to wear accessories, how to travel to work, whether or not to go outdoors… The list can go on and on.

Now imagine, if you can, that someone else makes each of these decisions for you. Maybe they have been making these decisions for you for your entire life due to disability - leaving you unable to make decisions for yourself. Or maybe you have recently had a physical decline and suddenly find that roles have reversed and your child is in charge of many of your day-to-day decisions.

Locus of control

When I talk to my clients about their independence, the conversations inevitably moves to a discussion about locus of control. What things are within your control, and what things are out of your control? Where can you make changes? What can you let go of? Where can you build independence? A shift in focus to the things within control and letting go of things out of control can really improve mood and one’s ability to cope with circumstances.

Support workers, caregivers and family

While a person’s cognitive re-focusing can help them to cope, in my experience, caregivers and support people have a major impact on an individual’s quality of life. Two people in similar circumstances can have vastly different levels self-determination and happiness. It is so difficult to for caregivers to watch loved ones make poor decisions for themselves. Yet that ability to make poor decisions is so important for a persons sense of control and independence. Finding this balance is not easy, but it’s so important to keep in mind when caring for an older adult, an individual with I/DD or neurodivergence, or anyone who has experienced a debilitating medical event.

Explore your own circles of control

Visit my Etsy shop to download a worksheet for exploring what is within your control. Or use it to work with others!